Silent Tears

Do you know what's the hardest thing to do, Bluo? Crying silently without shedding a tear or making a sound. Can you imagine how it would feel like, Bluo? Have you ever felt it...perhaps when you're hurt or when your heart breaks into a million pieces. And all you want to do at that point is to cry but you can't because of some reason.

Bluo, please close your eyes. Black out for a moment. Imagine yourself in the darkness and you hear voices getting closer and closer and they are not pleasant at all. You find your young, still childish eyes witnessing something you never ever wished for. And then beside you, your little brother's there crying in deep pain. All you ever wanted to do was to just cry...to blurt out like him...to cry your heart out...to cry out all those splinters in your heart. But no. You cannot. You just have to hold back and cry silently. Shedding no tear and making no sound. Wallowing up all your tears back into your already fragile heart. Your poor heart might as well burst into a million pieces but yet, you got to keep it together for the sake of the person you love. You show him that you're strong because at this point, he has no one to rely on but you. And at this point, he needs someone to tell him that everything's going to be okay even when you know it may be a lie. At this point, your little brother will need someone to hug him tight so that he knows...that he hasn't lost everything he loved.

Bluo, this is a really touching story my friend told me. She called me up with tears flowing like river from her eyes. And I know that by listening to her voice. It was soft and quivering. She told me she could not speak too loud because she didn't want her brother to know that she's crying. She was holding in back...whispering over the phone and telling me her stories. She told only part of it since she didn't want to recall others. I tried calming her down but I don't think it was too much help. I could only listen to her pouring it out her problems. I guess she felt better then. I really hope everything would go well for her. I know it isn't easy.

Well, Bluo. I can't expose too much. But that's just how it is, isn't it? That's how life goes. At one moment, you may have everything in the world. You may be jolly happy for all you know and not worry about a single thing. But the next moment, all those will just come tumbling down. The walls that once protected you and gave you happiness will just fall upon you. And it's up to you to catch every brick and support it on your shoulders. The worse part is when the weights are added with the people you love. You want them to keep staying protected until they can fend for their own. It's just tough how life is. Always expect the unexpected...