My Heart's On A String

Save it or kill it?

I know it's not right for me to feel sad about it but I still feel disappointed all the more. After all these years...now I really know how much I meant to some one or somebody. Now I truly know that I'm always placed the last on her or his list.

Before she or he replied to my question, I already knew her or his answer...but yet, I was just foolish enough to still ask. Maybe I was hoping there might still be hope. Maybe I thought that she or he might be different from what I've thought she or he is. But no matter how much hope or faith I place in this person, it never makes any differences. So why do I still linger there? Why do I still try so hard to see beyond this person's heart? Why am I such a stupid girl? Why must I still be so blind?

The minute she or he replied my question, my heart just hanged in there by a thread. It didn't exactly drop, partly because I already expected that answer. But do you know how it feels when you hang yourself there by a thread and expected to die but instead, you just hang there in between life and death? Yea...I felt disappointed and heart broken all the same. I'm not sure how else to express myself. I've got no one to tell...not even my best friend. Just letting stinging tears roll down from my cheeks...perhaps that's the only relief I can give myself.

Please someone, either sew the thread back for me or break it. It's no use lingering in between life and death. Just choose one.

~Whispers~

*Fingers Crossed*

Exactly how I look like now. LOL!

This is one big step I've ever done in my whole life! Sending in applications?!!!! Argh! When was the last time I've actually taken a step into my dream world??? I think that would have been at least 3 years ago. =S

Alright...so I've just sent in my Transfer Application. I was really nervous...especially when it's really important to me. I had to literally check every details in case I missed out any. And that still wasn't enough. I made one of my friend (who made me wait! *stabs stabs* jk jk...=P) check my application and oh gosh! There was one teensy weeny mistake! *Goes crazy* LOL! Anyways, it's a good thing she saw it. Otherwise....I think I'll have a heart attack. T.T Thanks, girl (If you're reading this. Hahaha...)

Haaaa....hitting the 'send' button was hard. >.< Omg...I'm worrying over absolutely nothing! Someone please give me a lollipop! Umm...that was random. Anyways, I really hope my application turns out fine. Better yet, I hope I get to hear a wonderful news!!!!! Please, please, please....LET IT BE A GREAT NEWS! *fingers crossed*

~Whispers~

Date with 2 Guys! Smurfilicious!

The 3 musketeers! Haiyaaa~ Lol!

I had one of the best day today...despite my 'curing-diarrhea'. lol...Went out with my little brother and my boyfriend. The reason we went out was because it was my little brother's 'Freedom Day'. He just ended UPSR yesterday and I thought it would be a good idea to bring him out. Hahaha...Didn't tell him that though. =P

Anyways, we watched 'SMURFS'! Mwahahaha...it was awesome! My lil bro and I laughed like nobody's business. My boyfriend as usual...he'd stay with his cool no matter how many it can be. >.> I would definitely recommend you guys to watch it. You won't regret it. Hahahaha...and that smurf song will get stuck it your head. Lalalalalalalala~ Oh oh! And they use the word 'smurf' for everything. Lol! I smurf you!

The Smurfs in theaters now!

After the show, we had to buy school shoes for my brother and that was when it was akward. I noticed people looking at us. I think they were probably wondering how in the world did these two couple ended up having a son at this age?! =S I really hope I was wrong...or maybe it could be a funny thing to laugh at. *Being lame again* =.=

I ate a whole dessert by myself since the other two fella had such a small stomach. =.=" I just don't get it. Their tummy's much bigger than mine and yet they get full so fast. Zzzzz....It wasn't fun eating alone. =( But we took pictures at the end of the day. That was the best part. Forcing them in and all....They're just too good in faking smiles. LOL!

My strawberry dessert from Justberrys. Tasted really good! =D

Here's some of the photos. =D

Such a contrast. Big and small. =P

Siblings forever! =)

Hohoho! Too proud to be criminals? Lol...

<3

Love this! ^_^

~Whispers~

I Cried When I Saw the Crowd

All of you are the golden heart my little brother is holding. Thank you for loving him. =D

Holding back tears as I stood there smiling at them, I felt really happy and touched at the same time. You see, my little brother just finished his 'BIG' exam today and since he's transferring to a new school next week, today will be the last day he'll be seeing his friends. To be honest, my youngest brother has always been known to be the heart of his class. He may be mischievous, playful, talkative and a pain in the butt sometimes, but when it comes to being kind and helpful, he's the one. Every teacher who knows him, every parent who have spoken to him, every one of his friends who've met him, they all love him all just the same. They'll always remember him for him.

As I stood there at the school gate, I saw a crowd around him. It gave me a shock because I thought he might be bullied or something. But when I looked carefully, I realized that one of them had a pen in his hand while the rest were frantically snatching the pen from each other. They were signing their names on my little brother's collar. There was his basketball teacher who also came over and just stood there watching with smiling eyes. Even though he was telling them to stop, I knew that he very much wanted to sign his name too. But a teacher got to show a good example right? Lol... Anyways, I just stood there smiling and I very much wanted to cry because it just touched my heart somehow. I'm not sure why but maybe it's because of the big, happy smile stamped on my brother's face. Maybe it's the fact that I felt happy that my brother has such wonderful friends. Maybe it's because I know that my brother will never have to go without friends in his life.

I'm really glad to know that my brother didn't cross the same pathway as I did. I'm happy that he's not a loner and that he has so many friends who really mean true to him. I hope that despite his leaving them, they'll always always stay in touch with each other.

Thank you to all his friends for loving him all these years. And even though you guys aren't the smartest of the smartest, don't worry. That's not important at all. What's important is that you guys have a heart of gold! All of you made one person feel like he actually mattered to someone. Thank you on behalf of him. =D

~Whispers~

He Is We

I just finished my assignment of the week and came across this band...really awesome! I mean unique. Hahaha...The lead singer's voice is rather different from those I've heard so far. I find her voice rather classy and strong but there's like this high pitch-ness in her voice. Somehow it just suits her perfectly. Hahaha...You should listen to her songs then you might understand what I'm saying. Hahaha...

All About Us by He Is We ft Owl City

Breathe by He Is We

Kiss It All Better by He Is We

These are some of the songs from this band. I personally like the first and third one. 'Kiss It All Better' is absolutely touching if you really try to understand the lyrics of the song. =( Her songs are actually quite meaningful...hidden meanings behind those lyrics and wonderful melody. >.< Hope you find it the same too. =D Enjoy another wonderful singer! ^_^

~Whispers~

LIFE Is Everything

I can't help it but to write it down here. I just read an article about this guy who recently passed away on the 1st of September 2011. He's a total stranger to me but his efforts and pure love for his family just touched my heart. The article claims that this guy came from a poor family. He had to struggle a lot throughout his childhood. While others are studying, he'll be working and when others are sleeping, he'll be studying. He struggled to earn enough money in order to support his family especially his younger siblings who were going to have to study in colleges. What about fees? What about him? Did he have to sacrifice his own life for them? Technically, yes. And that's exactly what he did but in a different way. He didn't stop studying. In fact, he did his very best to get scholarship supports just to save some money for his younger siblings. And yes, he got a scholarship from Sime Darby and also offers from five different top British universities: The London School of Economics, Imperial College London, Warwick University, University College London and University of Cambridge. He got a place into Cambridge and spent his time there but never forgetting his family back home. He promised his family that life would be good for them after he graduated and he'd send home a large portion of his allowance the whole time he's in Europe. But life is so unpredictable and cruel that on the 1st of September, at 6am in the morning, this guy had breathing difficulties all of a sudden and collapsed by the side of his bed....

Now, ask yourselves, what have you got that this guy did not have? I asked myself that. And as I write this with tears welling up, I have to say and admit.....I have opportunities that he did not have. I have a life that I did not have to struggle in. I have parents who were able to promise me a good life. I have a life where I only need to worry about my studies and nothing else. I have everything he did not have anymore....I HAVE A LIFE!

Majority of us have everything he did not especially LIFE. And what do we do with it? We complain. We cry over it. We sympathize ourselves for it. We ask why life is so unfair. But after reading that article, I don't think I'll ever ask why life is unfair. Because the question I should ask is, 'WAS IT FAIR FOR HIM?'.

Do what you can today because you'll never know if tomorrow will come. Appreciate the life you have now because you only have one life to live. Live it well, live it sincerely.

Here's the link in case any of you are interested in reading this article:

http://thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=%2F2011%2F9%2F11%2Flifefocus%2F9454170&sec=lifefocus

~Whispers~

Because I Have A Dream

I shot for the sky and I'm going to continue until I reach it.

Each and everyone of us have faced ups and downs. Some of us are in the limelight while others remain in the shadows of the crowd. I've been that all along. I've been hiding in between the sheets of my comfort zone. I've been stopped and affected by people's comments. I've been lying on the ground trying so badly to reach for the sky...but every time I try, I remain there on the on the ground. Like everyone else, I have dreams. I have goals that I want so much to achieve but just because there are some obstacles blocking, I can't seem to run after it.

Today, I finally printed out the Intercampus Transfer Application. For a very long time, I have been dreaming of studying abroad. It's not a big deal for some people but it is for me...a very big one indeed. It's like actors wanting to win the Oscars Award. From the moment I stepped into Monash, I've already wanted to go to Australia but as I have said, words from others affected me...including my own fears of not being able to adapt. You see, I'm like a bird who have been well fed in it's cage...taken care of and I have never flown into the real world. I was always protected and I never complaint. I mean what's there to complaint right? I'm living a good life and technically, I shouldn't even think of leaving home. But that's just not the case for me. I, for some reason prefer the opposite. I want to learn the hard way...to step into the scary world which I've always seen as beautiful. I want to fall and get up on my own. I want to find me.

So anyways, I was filling up the form and there's this one section where they asked, 'Reason for applying for transfer'. I skipped that part and answered the others. And when I went back to that section, I stared at it for at least an hour. I began writing a whole lot of crap like getting to know other cultures, making friends and those common stuff but then I paused and thought to myself, 'What's my real reason for leaving my homeland?'. And then I just wrote what my heart really wanted to write all this while....'because I have a dream and I want to chase it'.

~Whispers~

Absolutely L.O.V.E Country Songs!

This is one of my all time favorite song! =D

Stay Here Forever by Jewel

One of the songs I bumped into today. I find it rather nice and uplifting. Hehehe....

Stronger Woman by Jewel

I Do by Jewel

You Make Me Feel by Jessie Farrell

Do you love country songs now? LOL! I doubt so. Not many knows how to appreciate them but pleasseeee give country songs a chance! They're awesome and meaningful too! =D

~Whispers~