Confession of My First Rose
I know I'm suppose to study right now but I just got to pour this out. It's bugging me. >.< Anyways, I need to confess something.....
To all the girls out there, do you still remember who gave you your first rose or flower for that matter? I don't care what the occasion it is. Just...do you remember your first 'somebody' who gave it to you? Well, I remember mine...very clearly indeed. It was from an older man. Very much older than I am. It's been coming into my head for a while now...haunting me like as if that memory's trying to tell me something.
I received my first rose when I was still in high school...around Form 3 if I'm not mistaken. I was rather young then. And you know how excited young girls my age get during Valentines? Not all but most...including me (have to admit that. lol!). Anyways, I get very excited during Valentines. That very morning, I woke up all energetic...ready to go to school. Technically, I just wanted to go to school just to see if I have any admirers. Hahaha! How naive of me. I always had that small, tiny hope in my heart that someone would like me...even though I'm not as pretty as the other girls in my school.
Anyways, I didn't receive any rose in the morning. So, I waited for lunch. I thought, maybe when I'm out for break, someone will sneak in and place something under my desk. And yes! Someone did. I was so happy to see that small handmade card with a cute little kitten drawn on it. But when I opened it, it turned out to be just one of my girlfriend. I was still happy though. I never received anything for Valentines my whole life and my girlfriend actually made something for me. I'll never forget that. ^_^ BUT BUT...the story doesn't end here. So...I sat there with my little handmade card at my table and quietly watched all these other girls receiving roses from so many boys. All I thought at that time was, 'They must feel so happy and flattered. Why didn't I receive one?'. And again...I kept my hopes up. I waited until school almost ended and still no roses. The bell rang and it's time to go home. And yet again, I STILL kept my hopes up! (Oh gosh! I was a desperate little girl, huh?!) When I reached the main gate, I waited quietly hoping that someone gives me a damn rose! But no...no rose for me.
The day ended just like that and I got into the car. I tried very hard not to show my 'broken heart' because I didn't anyone to know how desperate I was. But then a wonderful thing happened! He took out a rose from at the back of the seat and gave it to me with a cheeky smile and he said, 'Happy Valentine, Carissa!'. Oh, was I so happy!!! I smiled from ear to ear and I just couldn't stop smiling until the day ended. I took the rose and said to him, 'Aren't you suppose to give it to mum?' Hahaha! And he replied with a warm smile, 'Can't I give one to my daughter too? Valentines isn't all about couples. It's for the people you love.'
Yes, people. My dad was the very first person who gave me my very first rose. And my very first rose received all my attention for that whole week! I searched high and low for a suitable vase for just one rose. And I sprayed water on it every morning and night. I watched it take in sunlight whenever I was free. I caressed its petals and it made me smile to feel it. I was the happiest girl that day...all because of my dad.
But back to my point, my dad's the best dad anyone can have. And the probable reason that this particular memory have been crawling into my head is because.....I'm losing my track. I'm getting so lost in my own tiny world that I forgotten to give a little time and love for my dad. I've almost forgotten how much I used to love him. I'm this close to forgetting what he has done for me all this while. That rose...that's a reflection of my dearest father. But the only difference between him and that rose, is that I won't let him wilt like the rose did. I'll make sure I can watch him take in life strongly like how the rose stood strong taking in sunlight once upon a time. I'll make sure I'm there to care and love him until the day I die.
To my dad, If you are reading this, you'll probably be tearing...or not but don't get too flattered okay. Hahaha! It's just that, I'm so busy lately and I just didn't have the time to spend some time with you. But no matter how busy or far I am, I just want you to remember one thing. I'll never forget you because I love you...just as equally as I love mum. So please, don't you ever think that I don't care for you because deep down, I really do care for you...even though you can't see it. You're my father and always will be. The best in fact. =D Love, Daughter.
~Whispers~
